Author Topic: 5 Years 50ml Daily Methadone Prescription Stopped - No Warning! - HELP!  (Read 12266 times)

jonleeds

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Hi folks, I've not posted on here for a while, anyway forgive me for the length of this post, I wrote it as a kind of stream of consciousness thing as my head was feeling like it was about to explode. I do have some real concerns about my methadone which has been stopped as of today for reasons which I dont believe are at all justified or even true. Anyway if you've got the time to read this get your pipe and slippers ready and settle down while I tell you a tale of chemical related woe and wonder....


Iíve been incredibly upset today due to learning my methadone prescription will not be renewed. After having been on 50mls of methadone per day continuously for over 3 years Iím well and truly addicted to this prescribed opiate substitute, the prospect of no longer having my daily dose and the knowledge of the pain and suffering that the withdrawal from methadone will cause is making my mind reel.

Today started fairly normally, myself and a friend / neighbour went into Leeds city centre to do some shopping which is a monthly routine based around the last Tuesday of the month when my friend receives his DLA payment. I usually borrow £20 off him in return for my paying him it back on my benefit day. So we head into the city centre to buy fresh fruit and vegetables from the Kirkgate outside market and pick up some other bargains - fish, meats etc from the indoor market then pop into Sainsburys to get some other essential groceries.

However on this Tuesday as we browsed the stalls on the outdoor market I heard a bleeping noise coming from my phone. I looked at the screen only to see a reminder that my methadone prescribing appointment was at 14:30 Ė basically in 1 Ĺ hours time. Iíd mistakenly thought my appointment was on Thursday and got the days Tuesday and Thursday mixed up as the appointment was made well over a month previously.

It didnít help that in between my previous and todays appointment Iíd had to change my mobile phone due to my old phone developing a catastrophic fault. So I transferred all my calendar appointment dates to the new phones calendar. However the way the new phone is set up means the calendar reminders arenít displayed on the front page which is immediately visible when you look at the phoneís screen. So Iíd not had this reminder which Iíd been relying on with my previous phone. In fact if Iíd not set a reminder alarm on the phone to alert me 1 Ĺ hours prior to the prescribing appointment I doubt Iíd even know I had the appointment at all.

Anyway upon seeing this alert and realising I had the appointment today I immediately phoned the local drug service that serves my area of north west Leeds (BARCA). I hoped there might be a chance that I could either rearrange the appointment for the next day or day after as my current methadone prescription had a few days left on it.

Alternatively I hoped they would be able to allow me to see the prescribing doctor slightly later this afternoon. I was told that this wasnít possible and all they could do is give me a Ďtelephone prescribing appointmentí which I didnít understand the meaning of. So given no alternative but to get to the appointment in Bramley from Leeds city centre within 1 Ĺ hours I realised Iíd have to get there as quickly as I can. I did explain on the phone to the receptionist that there could be a possibility of my being a little late.

Anyway as I was laden down with several heavy carrier bags of oranges, bananas, washing powder, eggs, milk etc I decided the best option would be for me to get the bus 5 miles to my home in West Park, drop off my groceries then cycle to The Manor / BARCA in Bramley which is furthur 4 miles from where I live. I had to wait over 15 minutes for the bus, also the bus journey takes about 40 minutes as its heavily used by students and goes through Hyde Park and Headingley which are the student areas of Leeds.

 So by the time I reached home it was past 14:15. I live on the top floor of a high rise tower block and by the time Iíd got into the flats, got up in the lift, dropped off my shopping and picked up my bike it was 14:25.
Clearly with the appointment at 14:30 I was going to be late no matter how hard I pedalled. So I set off at breakneck speed despite my still suffering from the tail end of a cold thatís had me coughing up phlegm and constantly blowing my nose. Having trouble breathing I managed to get halfway to BARCA in Bramley when I saw it was past 14:30.

 I quickly phoned the reception at BARCA to inform them I was on my way and less than a mile away, however the last mile is from the bottom of the  valley through which flows the river Aire and Leeds Liverpool canal up an enormously steep and long hill called Pollard Lane which on days without having a cold I can just about cycle up in a little under 10 minutes.  I realised it was likely to take me a good 15 minutes so I was looking at reaching BARCA by about 14:55 which is 10 minutes past the 15 minute barrier where the doctor can refuse to see clients.

Anyway the person I spoke to on the phone said to come anyway and I hoped they might be able to squeeze me in. So at pretty much exactly 14:55 I did arrive at BARCA. I informed the receptionist that I had an appointment at 14:30 to see the prescribing doctor and that I was clearly 25 minutes late, I explained Iíd phoned nearly 2 hours previously to try rearrange the appointment but was told there were no alternative times or dates and that Iíd also phoned 10 minutes before arriving to explain I was on my way. The receptionist said she would get someone to see me.

 Iím sat waiting in the reception at BARCA and whilst the receptionist is in the back room I remark to another client who is waiting that its typical that when I arrive on time (which is most of the time) I end up waiting from anything from half an hour to over an hour and a half in one instance. This client laughs and explains that he had an appointment at 14:30, the same time as my appointment was meant to be, yet despite arriving on time he had been waiting over half an hour.

The receptionist returns and informs me that someone will come see me which sounds ominous so Iím already feeling quite anxious. Over half an hour goes by before a woman called ĎLucyí calls me through to one of the back rooms. She has in her hand an appointment card which Iím hoping will be for an appointment by the time my methadone prescription runs out.

However this Lucy casually informs me that the prescribing doctor, a Doctor Calvert has refused to write me a new prescription on the basis that Iíve arrived late (10 minutes past the 15 minute threshold). Clearly Iím stunned by this and I donít know what to say. Suddenly without any announcement this very same Dr Calvert appears in the same room as myself and Lucy but she has only come into the room to pick up some article of stationary. I ask her to explain whats going on and why my 50mls daily methadone prescription is being suddenly withdrawn.

She seems to gloat at me and says something about me not attending for any of my previous appointments, which I know is not true, but she is able to  produce a list of statistics which seem to illustrate that I apparently  havenít attended any of my previous prescribing appointments. Now Iím absolutely flabbergasted at this as well as the fact Iíve just learned this doctor has just withdrawn my methadone. I know this information which says I havenít attended prescribing appointments isnít true and I explain to Dr Calvert the fact that if Iíd not attended any prescribing appointments then I wouldnít have been getting my methadone at all. To this she replies that I must have been getting Ďbridging prescriptionsí which is a phrase Iíve never encountered before in my life, I certainly know Iíve never had any Ďbridging prescriptionsí.

 So I now feel like the whole rug is being pulled from under my feet and its almost as if there has been a well orchestrated conspiracy with fabricated statistical evidence showing dates that I apparently didnít attend the prescribing appointments. The fact is I KNOW THAT I DID! I havenít seen this Dr Calvert on most occasions when I have prescribing appointments, I more often see another doctor called Dr Krystyna and a gentleman doctor whoís name I forget, who sounds (and looks a little bit) like 'Whispering Bob Harris'. I make a point of attending all prescribing appointments quite religiously as I appreciate that my methadone prescription is dependent on obtaining the prescription.

There had been a couple of weeks in the early part of this year where Iíd not attended a one day per week group (Planning for Change) which I volunteered to do, this was to be 4 weeks worth of this group which was on a Monday afternoon. I attended the first 2 weeks of this group after which I became very ill with a serious chest infection where I was coughing up pus-like fluid and I was prescribed strong anti-biotics for 2 weeks.

This meant I was unable to travel or even leave the house as I was constantly hacking up this revolting and foul tasting liquid, especially when I tried speaking. Anyway after a month of been very ill the chest infection started to clear up and I returned to the ĎPlanning for Changeí group and I began the 4 week long group from scratch so in total I attended 6 of these groups. However this Dr Calvert I believe is referring to me having missed the 2 groups in the weeks when I was ill. This was pretty irrelevant as I redid the 4 week course in the following weeks.

So Dr Calvert was in the room with Lucy and myself for less than a couple of minutes, she thinks she has proved that Iím pretty much the worst client the BARCA drug service has and that Iím not worthy of their treatment as Iíve not attended appointments (which she has somehow Ďprovedí ?!) so she has done her duty by removing my prescription and leaving me to go back to using heroin on a full time basis. She also commented that in my notes it says Iím using heroin on top of my methadone, which I have been doing but this has become less frequent over the past year.

 Dr Calvert comments that she cant stay as she has another patient waiting in another room and with a parting sneer at me she hurries out of the room. Now Iím absolutely livid and upset at this point and after she has departed the room I make a stupid angry comment about how would she like it if I stabbed her in the car park outside after she finishes work as thatís virtually what sheís done to me by withdrawing my methadone knowing full well how sick that will make me.

The woman in the room Lucy suddenly picks up on this angry comment Iíve made (basically at the closed door, as Dr Calvert had gone by the time I said this so she didnít hear what I said). So Lucy starts then saying she will have to inform the police and the manager of BARCA what Iíve just said as it was a threat made towards a member of staff. Actually how I remember it was I said it towards the closed door through which Dr Calvert had walked several seconds previously. I realise it was a stupid remark and I explain that I was angry and trying to say something hurtful and nasty towards Dr Calvert as I felt like Iíd just been called a worthless liar who is not worthy of drug treatment as I donít attend any appointments as well as her stopping my methadone and seeming exceedingly smug about having done this.

So now Iíve got to deal with the police, courts etc alongside not having the methadone which is going to make me very poorly Ė I know because Iíve been here before several years ago when I went from 60mls of methadone per day to nothing. I was very ill for 3 months and even using lots of heroin barely helped. Anyway after spelling out how much trouble Iím now in this Lucy woman gives me an appointment to see my drug worker ĎJayneí on Thursday with an appointment to see a doctor for a ĎRestartí appointment on Thursday the 5th of June, so basically in a further 9 days time.

So now Iím faced with the prospect of my 50mls of methadone prescription ending on Thursday of this week. Then Iíll have a full week of no methadone to look forward to followed by having to get to this ĎRestartí appointment which is at 9:15am in the middle of a week thatís likely to have been hell where Iíll have had little sleep so its unlikely I'll be wanting to do an 8 mile round cycle trip starting at about 8:30am. The likely solution is that Iíll have to seek out someone else who is on methadone and see if they will sell me some of or all of their prescription in return for cash that they can then use to buy heroin for themselves.

In one fell swoop over the sake of my being 10 minutes later than the 15 minutes Ďpermittedí lateness my prescription for methadone has been stopped which will lead to me getting someone in treatment to both break the law by selling me their own methadone so they can also betray their own drug treatment by using heroin with the money Iíll use to purchase their methadoneÖ

 Plus its likely Iíll only be able to procure a few dozen mls of methadone which even if I ration it out to say 15mls per day wont last a full week. So Iíll be forced to buy more heroin than I would normally, which means the £150 that Iíve managed to save up towards going on holiday this year will get spent in no time.

All in all it looks like this Dr Calvert has done a great job. I really donít know where to proceed now. People Iíve spoken to about this donít believe it can happen, a few people have mentioned the possibility of taking legal action, other people have likened it to a diabetic person having their insulin withdrawn for being late to a doctors appointment or a terminal cancer patient having their pain relief medicine confiscated because the doctor felt that way inclined.

Thatís pretty much how Iíve been treated here. I was encouraged by the so-called drug services to come into drug treatment and get onto methadone as a substitute to heroin which would mean I could start using less heroin and I wouldnít have to be breaking the law to sustain a heroin habit. Actually in this respect the methadone has worked pretty much how it should do. Iím on a lower dose of methadone that what I started on (75mls) and I use much less heroin as I donít need it as often because of the methadone. I've not had any problems with the criminal justice system for over 10 years which is partly down to having had methadone.

Now the drug treatment has been withdrawn all that hard work will be rapidly undone. Not to mention the anxiety and depression this whole episode has dragged up for me. Prior to today Iíd been feeling positive and optimistic about the future and I was looking forward to going on my first proper holiday in a decade at the start of next month (July). Again thanks to this Dr Calvert that wont be happening and its likely the only place I will be going this summer is B-Wing at Armley Jail when the police catch up with me from the crimes I could end up committing to support my beckoning daily heroin and illegally sourced methadone habit. Plus I feel completely alienated now from the whole drug treatment system if this is how people in drug treatment are dealt with. Iím starting to doubt everything. Iím considering not returning to the ĎRestartí appointment and try getting along without any contact with drug treatment services. 

So really what does anyone who's managed to plough their way through this lot think of my predicament? Do I have any other alternatives? I've considered trying to change my drug service to another service in another part of Leeds but its usually organised according to your post code area and BARCA is my most 'local' one, albeit being 4 miles away up hill and down dale. I also tried to get an appointment with my own GP who did used to prescribe my methadone as part of a 'Shared Care' scheme between my doctors and BARCA. Unfortunately my own GP doesnt have any appointments free and she is going on holiday for 2 weeks on Monday... What can I do?

Kindest regards

Johnny

OP8S

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You certainly need to get the ball rolling as soon as possible Jon, try leaving your contact details on the Alliance's answerphone or contact RELEASE, possibly get in touch with a local advocacy service ?

I'm more often than not early for my appointments but nearly always have to wait at least 20mins past my appointment time which does piss me off. Some Dr's think that people on OST have nothing better to do than hang around until they are ready to see you. It's a bit of a double standard, but do we complain ? Certainly not , well at least until you've got your script you don't.

I understand your frustrations at being treated this way by this Dr. & assume your angry threat was said because you were already stressed out by just getting to the DSP in time just to be told your script was going to get stopped. Do you think that a letter explaining the situation to the Dr. along with an apology would help ? It can't hurt anyway & if you've been seen by Dr.'s in the past then there has to be documentation to back this up.

It does sound like a horrible situation, I'm sorry I can't be of any help but good luck. I hope you get it sorted a.s.ap.
" The problem with the world is that the fanatics are so sure of themselves while the wiser people acknowledge doubts "      Bertrand Russell

Scallywag

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I've got to admit your story doesn't convince me that all is as you explain. There is a lot of embellishing going on I think and the threat you made can't be justified I'm afraid, so you'll have to accept the consequences of that.
If you have evidence of attending the appointments then there'll be a record in your case notes of that event and you should ask to see them if needed to 'prove' your case.

Also, you had 1 1/2 hours to get to your appointment but decided to go home first, which was only going to delay you, but you still chose to do that. I work as a drug worker and hear so many 'reasons' why someone couldn't attend, but the same people never 'forget' to score, no matter how busy they seem... sorry of that sounds harsh, but it's true in my experience because using is the priority for those people and the script is their back up for when they don't use or have no money.

Clearly, not all do this but to deny their are 'blaggers' and it's all the big bad drug teams fault is also not the case.
Make you case with the evidence you have or accept it's not all the fault of the people who have been waiting for others to turn up for that 'really important appointment' I so desperately needed..... but something else got in the way of.

sapphire

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I'm a little confused. So they have given you an appointment for a restart? So they aren't completely kicking you out of treatment?

The problem really is, in this era of abstinence based recovery, that if we wish to keep our script, there is a certain amount of hoop jumping that must be undertaken, and that does involve attending appointments on time. I know that in the bumf I had to sign when I joined my DSP there was a section that said if I missed more than 2 appointments that I would be discharged from treatment.

I really don't think that the clinic would be saying you'd missed appointments if you hadn't? They don't have anything to gain by lying about thing like that iyswim? If you really feel that you definitely 100% have not missed any appointments, ask to see your notes, as they will have (or should have) noted it in there if you've been a DNA on occasions. That will prove it one way or the other.


The other things are not giving positive drug screens and not abusing the staff. What ever you did say must have been a little but more than an off the cuff remark for them to get the police involved. Also, as she was a female on her own with you and you were being confrontational, you could have frightened her. I'm sure you didn't mean to, but sometimes when we're angry we don't realise how intimidating we can be.

Are you also giving positive drug screens regularly? These days unfortunately, Harm Reduction has gone out the window, and if people are giving drug screens positive for opiates, the prescribing doctor is likely to take that as a sign that the treatment is not working. I know that is not right, but the way drug services are commissioned these days, that is what we have to put up with to stay maintained on an opioid substitute.

Perhaps some damage limitation would be in order, in the form of an apology for what ever went down in order for them to all the police?

As far as the Restart not happening until a week after your current script runs out, that's not really best practice, as it's obviously going to leave you without meds for a week.

If you would like, we could speak to your service to see if they can bring the Restart appointment forward. We can certainly try that, as it is dangerous for them to just stop your prescription like that. What do you think? We can try it, but if they are not feeling particularly well disposed towards you, it might be a big ask!

jonleeds

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Hello Again

Thanks for everyones advice, at the moment I've not spoken to anyone at my local drug services (BARCA). I did have a phonecall from the manager at the service at 9am, he wanted to know when I could come in to The Manor which is their offices in Bramley, Leeds to  discuss the comment I made. Now what alarmed me is the manager said on the phone "the comment you made to the Dr", the thing is, I didnt actually make any comment to the Dr, I made the comment towards her but after she had left the room. It was another female member of staff who heard it and started saying the police would be involved.

So now it appears on top of the fabricated evidence that showed I'd not attended any prescribing appointments - the very reason the prescribing doctor has stopped my treatment. I have now got the doctor saying that I have made threats to her in person which did not happen. So its likely I'll have the police charging me with 'Threats to Kill' or something equally bad.

I'm sorry if all this sounds all 'woe is me' and selfish etc but the reason I've come to this forum to ask for advice is because I have an issue regarding MY treatment and the implications that my methadone being stopped will have for ME. I suffer greatly from anxiety and depression, a large part of which is paranoia that various agencies / people / family etc have got some conspiracy to ruin my life in all kinds of ways.

The restart appointment that I've been offered for in 9 days time, I'm not aware of what that is, it sounds to me like its an appointment to restart treatment which will involve having to be re-referred to the drug service, be retested for opiates etc via urine tests and then wait while the drs and staff at BARCA decide whether I'm suitable for treatment, a process that I anticipate will take a couple more weeks on top of the week I'll already have had without any meds. Plus I'll be expected to run around to a whole new series of appointments, each one with an 8 mile round trip bike ride to get to each appointment.

The whole process and events of yesterday are starting to confuse me, plus the spectre of the next few weeks without my meds is frightening. I dont know what to expect at the moment as I've not been without my methadone for over 4 years, I virtually never miss the chemists so I dont know whether I'm going to start retching / sweating yawning etc and having that aching in all my limbs and joints. I'm quite distressed that I'm now in a position where I'll have to spend the bit of money I'd managed to put aside on heroin and if that runs out I could end up breaking the law to raise cash quick to score with.

I really wish now that I'd paid for a taxi to get straight to the appointment, but at the time it didnt occur to me as I rarely use taxis. Anyway I'm going to phone the manager at BARCA now and see what he wants to do. I did have an appointment to see my keyworker tomorrow at 4pm where I could have discussed my treatment and what Dr Calvert said about me never attending any of my appointments. However it appears this is now all about an angry comment I made and not about my treatment and its withdrawal. I think its likely they will have cancelled this appointment. I donít know about asking the organisers of this website to contact BARCA to make any kind of plea for me. I doubt the staff at BARCA would take it seriously but thanks for offering to help.

What I cant get my head around is that nobody at BARCA seem to think that removing 50mls of daily supervised methadone from somebody whoís been on methadone for years is an issueÖ Am I being melodramatic about this?

sapphire

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I don't think you're being melodramatic about the loss of the script, but you certainly could have made more of an effort to make sure that you did get there, and I don't think an apology to the service for whatever you said would go amiss and might have them feeling more sympathetic towards you with regards to getting this restart quicker.

Thing is, we could speak to them, and see if we can get this restart quicker, but if they are already pissed off with you, they might not be open to doing that. We can only ask.

At these restarts, it does what it says on the tin, they will restart you on that day usually, or the day after. It doesn't take weeks on end.

If you would like someone from the Alliance to contact your DSP please PM me. Given the fact that they are taking whatever you said this seriously though, all we could do is ask them to bring the restart forward, reiterating to them that it's not good practice to leave you abruptly without meds.

I do feel that they may try to trump anything we ask them with the 'threat to kill/violent language' card, but we can always ask if you would like us to.

jonleeds

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Hi Sapphire, thanks for looking at my post, Can I just say that I made the best effort I could to get to the appointment, as I mentioned I didnt realise I had the appointment yesterday until I was in Leeds City centre doing my shopping and I was heavily laden down with bags.

 I'd tried to rearrange the time / date of the appointment and when I found this wasnt possible I made a decision to drop my things off at home, pick up my bike and cycle to the appointment otherwise I'd have had to get the bus to my appointment from the city centre with all the stuff I was carrying, then to get from the drug service in Bramley back home its a journey that involves 2 buses which take over an hour what with waiting for each bus and the journey time.

 Obviously in hindsight I made the wrong decision but I was quite confused about what to do given that I'd been told that if I didnt get to the appointment within under 2 hours there wouldnt be any other appointments. I do get to the majority of prescribing appointments either on time or early, yet then I have to wait usually between 10-20 minutes but there have been occasions where I've arrived on time yet had to wait over an hour. When that happens I dont start saying "Right, the doctor is sacked cos they've kept me waiting over 15 minutes..!".

I'm also perplexed about this Dr Calvert producing some notes that said I'd missed every prescribing appointment when I know for a fact that I havent - if I had done I wouldnt be in treatment. However she says these repeated DNA (Did Not Attend) notes were what she used as the basis for denying my prescription. The only appointments that I know I did not attend were a couple of these 'Planning for Change' groups which I volunteered to go to. I was very ill at the time with a dreadful chest infection and the weather was appauling - it was a few weeks ago when there had been all the floods. However I did restart and complete this 4 week long group when I was better.

It seems that whatever I try and do to furthur my recovery its never good enough - infact its almost counter-productive. If I'd never volunteered to do this 'Planning for Change' group then I wouldnt have missed 2 sessions of it and this wouldnt be getting used against me, the fact that I redid the group from scratch doesnt seem to count.

I've done everything my drug worker has asked me to do, I've volunteered with a local conservation charity and we're going on a residential in June, I joined a cycling group last year and started going on bike rides at weekends, I attend all my Dr's and keyworkers appointments on time (although the drug service now dispute this), I'm not committing crimes to pay for drugs, I've reduced the amount of drugs I was using, I've referred myself to a community rehab organisation called Renew who do daily groupwork sessions in the city centre plus I've stopped people coming to use drugs at my flat etc etc etc, all in the past 12 month yet despite this Dr Calvert believe my treatment isnt working and she has stopped my methadone instantly.

Anyroad sorry to ramble on, I cant help it! Thanks again for everyones feedback.

OP8S

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I think when it comes down to it the fact that you were verbally aggressive has been the breaking point.
When you're prescribed a substitute drug whether it be subs , meth or anything else it becomes extremely important to your well-being. Something that I'm not sure whether all Dr.'s, drug-workers etc. can fully understand unless they've been their themselves.

There used to be a poster on the forum who suffered from some quite bizzare anxieties about their meth which they had to pick up daily. Worrying about what would happen if the pharmacy got flooded, broken into, burnt down etc. meaning that they wouldn't be able to pick up before work. Things that never happened but we can & do get extremely worked up / anxious at the drop of a hat with changes to our meds, especially if we think that it's going to be stopped.

Even so, no Dr. , pharmacist , drugs-worker or whatever should have to put up with verbal aggression. If you're to believe what's written about methadone patients in the likes of The Daily Fail which is how 90% of the public think people that use dope, meth, & other substances are like then they probably would take you for your word when you threaten them with violence. It's up to us to show them different.

You'll get further being polite & civil even if you have missed an appointment. If you know that they are in the wrong, there will be proof, then it's even sweeter when they have to apologise to you.

I hope you get it all sorted out, though I still think a letter of apology to the Dr. wouldn't hurt. If you want it to sound exceptionally good you could ask if they run any anger-management courses.

I know that you had no intention of carrying out the threat but it's a game & they make up the rules.
" The problem with the world is that the fanatics are so sure of themselves while the wiser people acknowledge doubts "      Bertrand Russell

sapphire

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How are things Jon? What happened on Friday?

jonleeds

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Hi folks! Thanks for everyone taking the time to read my lengthy posts and for the advice you've given. Sapphire I dont know if you tried to contact BARCA my local drug service, did you? If so what did they say?

 I went to the appointment on Friday, I turned up 2 hours early in the hope that somebody might cancel their appointment or not turn up and the doctor might see me but this didnt happen. I had a meeting with the manager of BARCA, a guy who it turned out used to be my old keyworker. He was surprised that I'd made such threats towards the doctor but he confirmed that she was unaware that I'd said anything of the sort until they actually brought it to her attention as it was another member of staff who heard me make the comment. I apologised profusely for what I'd said and promised nothing like that would happen again.

Anyway I've been given my last verbal and written warning - by saying 'last' this makes it sound as though I've had a string of such warnings but I've had none previously so it must be a 'one last chance' type deal. I've still got the 'Restart' appointment for 9:15am on Thursday.

The past few days since I had my last dose on Wednesday have been quite stressful. The withdrawal symptoms started on Thursday night when I found myself yawning and stretching. I've had aching pains in my knees and elbows and having hot and cold feelings. Fortunately on Friday I was able to procure 30mls of methadone which I rationed out to myself in sips usually during the night. I ended up using heroin a few more times than I'd have liked to or would normally have done. Then on Monday afternoon I managed to get another 30mls of methadone which I've nearly drunk all of now.

 The staff at the local pharmacy have been quite concerned about my abscence as I've attended the chemists regularly / daily for the past few years. A neighbour of mine told me they'd been asking after me and they expressed their views on how disgusting it was that my medication had been withdrawn for over a week.

Anyway only 1 more day to go without my prescription so I've nearly made it without a great deal of drama or having to put all my possessions in hock. If anything good has come out of this I'm not going back onto 50mls of methadone daily. I'm going to request a lower dose to go back onto - maybe 30mls and make a plan to reduce monthly by 5mls and get off the stuff.

Having been held to ransom over the stuff has put me off being in treatment and I dont want to end up in a situation like this again. I dont trust the drug service anymore and I want to get out of having any involvement with them.

Thanks!

Johnny

sapphire

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Jon - No I did not try to contact your service, as I said to you in my private message, there were certain things that I needed from you before I could do that. As you didn't reply to me, I thought that you had got the earlier restart appointment that you wanted.

As far as your reduction plans go, if you're still using on top of your script, do you really think it's a good idea? If you're certain that you want to go ahead with it though, from a dose of 30mg, reductions of only 1 or 2mg at a time would be best. You should never reduce by more than 10% of your dose at one time, so for your first reduction, that shouldn't be more than 3mg, and ideally should be less.

stumps

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Reduce on 2mgs  if you must but not whilst using.

Also if I come in to your work place and threaten you how would it go?

You have shot yourself in the foot with your behaviour and if this was done in Hospital then you would be kicked out so think about it.

 You threaten medical staff then you put yourself outside of treatment.That is for anyone not just for those in addiction treatment


sapphire

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At my DSP, if you threaten the staff, or are violent you are kicked out of treatment and cannot re-enter, so all in all, I think your DSP have been pretty good about the whole thing.

As you were getting all agitated when you were alone with a woman, she could gave found that really threatening. You probably didn't mean it to come across that way, but it easily could have.

In the future, you'll have to be really careful about how you act with the DSP staff/doctors, as they will likely lick you out if there is a repeat performance.

OP8S

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Being licked out of treatment might be quite a pleasurable new option, as long as the licking was done by somebody you found attractive... :D   ::)    I think it would be nicer than being KICKED out of treatment which is what I'm sure Sapph meant.

Sorry Sapph, couldn't help it. I am yet again let down by my sense of humor that lies somewhere in the gutter...

" The problem with the world is that the fanatics are so sure of themselves while the wiser people acknowledge doubts "      Bertrand Russell

sapphire

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Ugh, if you could see some of the staff at my place you certainly wouldn't want to be licked out by them! I did mean kicked out, of course!! ;D